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Flirting Fail

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2021

Dear Elle Woods,

Thank you so much for sharing your famous, fool-proof trick on how to get a guy’s attention: The Bend-and-Snap. It was a fabulous idea. Just bend down to pick something up off the floor, snap back up, and you’ll always attract a guy’s attention with a fantastic hair flip. It was absolutely ingenious in Legally Blonde. However, I just wanted to write to you today to let you know that the trick’s results may vary from person to person. Because for me, it didn’t really work.

See, there was this incredibly handsome guy in my geometry class back in high school. Bryce sat next to me in class, and every day, we would work together on math assignments. He only saw me as the quiet, nerdy girl in his geometry class, but I wanted him to see me as more than that. So, after watching your empowering film, I decided that I would try out the patented Bend-and-Snap to get his attention. 

 

One day, as I collected my things, I nonchalantly brushed my pencil off of my desk. It fell onto the carpeted floor and rolled under my desk.  I slowly reached forward and grabbed it from off the ground, hoping that Bryce was watching me.  Unfortunately, Elle, I had misjudged how far my pencil had rolled under my desk. As I went to snap back up with a great hair flip, I whacked my head on the underside of my desk with a loud bang!

Everyone still in the room whipped around and rushed forward to help me as I brought both of my hands up to my throbbing head. I waved them off with a forced smile and burning cheeks, assuring them that I was okay. When they finally turned to leave, I looked for Bryce, wondering where he had gone during the commotion. I finally found him walking out of the classroom without so much as a backward glance in my direction.

So, Elle, thank you again for the helpful advice, but I don’t think the Bend-and-Snap is for me. So maybe, the Bend-and-Snap isn’t as foolproof as we had originally thought. But, if nothing else, we can all learn one very important lesson from my story: Don’t try the Bend-and-Snap anywhere near a table or desk.

Warmest Regards,

The Quiet, Nerdy Girl

 

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